Always
by Nevoreiel
Summary: COMPLETE Draco can’t sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions. DH Slash warning: rape, noncon, etc.
1. 1 No one can stop me now

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#1 - Nothing can stop me now…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_****

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. 

**Notes:** This story was inspired by **Saliva's song "Always"** hence the title. I listened to the song and wrote down the lyrics myself, therefore there are probably mistakes in them. The song could be considered as the thoughts of both Harry and Draco there are aspects of both in it. This is my first posted H/D fic of any kind, figures that it would be a slash one. This is Draco's point of view. For all intents and purposes the Astronomy Tower has many windows and most of them are open. This takes place around October of their 5th year.

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_"Always" _by Saliva__

_I hear a voice that don't be so blind_

_It's telling me all these things_

_That you would probably hide. _

_Am I your one and only desire? _

_Am I the reason you breath_

_Or am I the reason you cry?_

_Always, always, always…___

_(verse):_

_I just can't live without you. _

_I love you, I hate you, I can't get around you._

_I breath you, I taste you, I can't live without you. _

_I just can't take anymore_

_It's like I'm solid so_

_I guess I'm out of the door_

_And I'm done with you_

_(end verse):_

_I feel like you don't want me around_

_I guess I'll pack all my things_

_I guess I'll see you around_

_It's all been bottled up until now_

_As I walk out your door all I can hear is the sound…_

_Always, always, always…___

_[VERSE]_

_I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you._

_I wrap my head around your heart_

_Why would you tear my world apart?_

_Always, always, always…___

_ I see the blood all over your hand _

_Does it make you feel more like a man?_

_Was it all just a part of your plan?_

_The pistol shaking in my hand and all I hear is the sound…_

_Always, always, always…___

_[VERSE]_

_[VERSE]_

_Always, always, always…_

--------------------------------

Whose cruelty it was I don't know but by some malice I cannot get any sleep. Wouldn't do to get bags under my eyes, most unbecoming. Well, I should know, seen them countless times under Potter's eyes. Must be loosing his precious sleep over that Diggory's death. Quite useless, I say, can't change a thing.

Tsk, there I go again, loosing sleep over Potter, just as useless, that is news, indeed. Have I finally cracked around the edges? Hysterical thoughts are not what I'm supposed to be having. I really hate Potter, yes, hate him.

It's getting unbearably hot, wrapped up in my blankets. I feel trapped, time to get out. I grab my robes and pull them on over my pajamas. Carefully I make my way out of the dorm and out of the dungeons altogether. Whose brilliant idea was it to have so many flights of stairs between the dungeon and the Astronomy Tower? They should be shot.

Breathing heavily I finally reach the tower. To my greatest surprise and to some extent - satisfaction - I find Potter there. Just sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees and staring at the star filled sky.

I must keep my poise, "Potter!" Sneer in place, derisive air present, _perfect_.

He's startled for a moment but regains his composure quickly enough. Wearily he rises from the floor, very elegantly. I almost slap myself for the foolish thought but that would just give Potter a reason to pity me. That is unacceptable.

I'm delighted to see that sleepless nights have left him drained. Time to let out the venom, "Poor Potter, can't sleep? What, dreams of Diggory keeping you awake? Wish you had a chance to get a crack at him before Lord Voldemort?" that name almost makes me choke on my words. Potter certainly does not seem to be reacting; maybe I used one too many times. Interesting _that_ time, on the train, it had him spitting mad.

Let's try again, "Or did you just wish you could've fucked him one last time?"

The reaction is instant, he's upon me, hands around my throat, "Don't you soil his name, and you aren't half the human he was."

Wrenching myself away I stumble, reach for my throat. The git actually bruised me. "Soft spot, Potter?" Hate him… hurt him… yes. "Or did I hit the truth?" another smirk.

He rams me into the wall, "Get it into your thick skull, Malfoy," his words are punctuated by my head being banged against the stone wall. And unpleasant feeling, infectious.

"Can't you give up? Just shut up and refrain from saying anything at all," he bangs my head again. I think it's to prove a point.

"Potter, I didn't know you had it in you," not the smartest thing I've ever done, but what's new? "Do that again," quite a devilish smile lights up my face. I must look frightful.

Potter scowls in disgust and backs up, "You really **are** crazy, Malfoy."

"No, but this isn't," I punch him in the face, a resounding crack as my knuckles connect with his jaw. He staggers and clutches at his face and then comes at me with a rage. I get my wind knocked out of me as he rams me in the stomach. I have another go at him, this one knocks his glasses off and they fall to the floor, forgotten. I see stars as he hits my head against the wall, hard. He reaches for my throat again and this time he squeezes in earnest.

My hands grope for my wand. The world's gone dimmer and my lungs burn. My fingers finally curl around the wood. Most suddenly I realize that even if I wanted to I couldn't cast a spell. No air to breath much less to talk.

Time for dirty measures. With all my remaining strength I knee him in the crotch. This works a miracle; he lets go immediately and falls over curling in on himself.

Wondrous air enters my lungs and I cherish it and the sight of Potter groaning in pain and rolling around helplessly. My throat feels tender; I'm bound to have bruises by tomorrow. I bruise so easily.

I try to laugh; it sounds more like a cackle, "I hope I didn't damage you too badly there, Potter. Wouldn't want famous Harry Potter impotent, now would we?"

"Oooh," is his only reply. Come to think of it he looks quite good without his glasses and all in pain.

A plan forms in my mind, I see clearly. And why shouldn't I act upon it?

My wand is still in my hand. Easy to just mutter a spell and then I see the ropes shimmer out of the end of it. They're silver, I like them.

Potter at once freezes up as the ropes bind his hands together. Surprised? Yes, and very angry.

"Silver is my color but it fits you very well, Potter. What do you think?"

"I think it's time to end this foolish game. Untie me," his green eyes are sending sparks my way.

I smile chillingly, like the predator I am, "No, the game's just beginning."

Maybe it's anger, or maybe it's hate, or fear, that I see in his eyes. Why shouldn't he fear me? As I move closer he tries to back away. I'm right in front of him but he insists on wriggling around and cursing me.

I lower myself to the floor and crawl up to him. My expression is blank but Potter looks frightened. As he should be.

Cautiously I reach out and touch his cheek… so soft. He tries to bite my hand and I have to jerk it away. I wag my index finger at him, "Naughty, naughty, wouldn't want me to gag you as well? That would take away the fun of hearing you scream and moan."

Potter looks truly afraid and he tries to keep it from me. But I see it; it's right on the surface.

He actually tries to speak, "Malfoy, what are you…" I pounce on him, no more words.

Putting my hand over his mouth, very soft, and bite and suck along his neck. A groan escapes Potter; he might actually be enjoying this. I must gloat over this. Uncovering his mouth I ask, "Enjoying yourself I see."

He spits in my face. I wipe it off and slap him for insolence. All right, no more niceties. I **will** finish this.

I unclasp his robe; unable to take it off fully I pull Potter's arms over his head and bunch it up there.

Crouching I pull my robe off as well and shiver at the crisp night air. I spread it out on the stones and roll Potter onto it, he does not resist.

He's still wearing those ridiculous Muggle clothes. How can he stand it? I can't take off that dratted t-shirt but there's nothing I can do. I'll make do with the pants.

Finally realizing my "game" as I go for the zipper Potter freezes in disbelief. Quickly pushing them down and off I throw them behind me. Potter's eyes could serve as twin mirrors now. He says nothing but I know he wants to.

My eyelids slowly droop and I watch Potter cautiously. My hand wanders under his t-shirt; I can't understand how someone can have skin that's so smooth. Potter's mouth is set in a thin line; I think he's quite determined not to let me hear anything. We'll see if we can change that. I scratch lightly along his chest and pull cruelly at his nipples. Potter's resolve is slowly crumbling and I see him biting his lip.

My hand travels down and I lightly trace down his thigh. I'm disappointed that this does not seem to be having a desired effect. Hm, I'll just concentrate on pleasing myself tonight then.

I roll him over once more, onto his stomach. I push up the t-shirt to expose his back and fondly run my fingers along his spine. Roughly I seize the waist band of his boxers and pull them down to his ankles. Potter gasps and tries to throw me off.

I hold him down with one hand and awkwardly push down my own pajama pants. I'm already hard and the anticipation builds within me. He is exquisite.

I decide against preparation, there'll be time for that some other day. I lay myself out on top of him and just relish the closeness. Potter doesn't seem to be enjoying this and he starts turning over.

I just push down on his shoulders and he gets the message. I have no regard for anything but my desire.

As I penetrate Potter cries out, a gurgling sound. I think I ripped something. Maybe I should have stretched him first? Too late now, nothing can stop me now. And he is so tight.

I rock him back and forth with my thrusts. At first muffled grunts escape his lips but then even they seize. My own pants of exertion seem loud in my ears.

I hang my head as I feel it building. All I can do is moan as I come.

I rest on Potter's body until I feel some of my strength returning. I pull out and then lean over to whisper in his ear, "Come here on Monday. Midnight. Unless you want the whole school to know that you let yourself be fucked into the floor by a Malfoy."

No response from the prone body but I think he heard. I remove the ropes that bind his hands and getting up roughly pull my robes from under him.

I straighten out and redress myself, Potter still doesn't move. Well, let him freeze or be discovered if he likes. I walk away softly.

Standing in the shadows I watch as Potter just lies there on the stone floor, he just won't move. I didn't hurt him **that** bad. Did I?

After about 10 minutes he finally stirs. Turning over he untangles his hands from his robes and pulls up his jeans. Groping along the floor he finally reaches his glasses and puts them on. He seems unaffected but he **can't** be. Very slowly, slightly limping, he walks out. He does not notice me or maybe he does not wish to notice me. I watch his back as he makes his way slowly out of my sight.

I think I'll be able to sleep now.

To Be Continued…

--------------------------------

**Next Installment:** Will Harry heed Draco's warning and meet him on Monday? Will Draco tell the whole school if Harry does not meet him? Will we _ever_ know? All will be answered in the next chapter. As soon as I write it, and I will, it will be posted.

**A/N:** I would be grateful for reviews. Flame if you wish, I need something to laugh at, but you were warned.


	2. 2 Yes

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#2 – Yes…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_****

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, suicidal thoughts, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made off this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. Well, not much in this part. 

**Notes:** This part is not so bad, most of the warning is not for this part. But the warning will be in affect in the later chapters. I think there will be 2 more chapters after this one unless I decide to make an epilogue. Demia: I've never read a "Harry-wants-to-be-punished-because-he-feels-guilty-about-Cedric-so-he-will-let-Draco-blackmail-him-into-submission" fic and the thought never crossed my mind. I can assure you that Cedric's death has nothing to do with this, though there is blackmail and guilt but that's more on Draco's part believe it or not. This is Draco's point of view and he does not know the real reason Harry's agreed to this, it will be revealed in the last chapter. Cedric still has nothing to do with this. It's not exactly plot driven but emotion driven.

--------------------------------

The days are passing too slowly for my taste. Maybe I should have moved up the date because the weekend has been passing in agonizing glimpses of Potter. Though he never looks my way I can't help but stare sometimes.

He's mostly quite now and I don't bother with him. How I wish I could bother him. His silence unnerves me, he looks grim. Not surprising that his face bears nothing of our scuffle, no bruises at all, none. Next time I'll be subtler.

Pity that I had to heal the wounds that he inflicted… they were a nice reminder.

***

It is 10 o'clock on Monday evening. I glance at the clock ever so often, which is often. I can't stand the wait so I pace back and forth, gritting my teeth. Most of the Slytherins are staring at me blatantly, their eyes following me. Probably think I'm plotting something evil after all I usually am. I guess I _am_ plotting something but they'll never guess at it.

I've thought it all through there is no way that this will go wrong. I simply must get Potter out of my head. He's ruining everything.

***

Midnight. Finally.

Just as before, soundlessly I exit the dorm and make my way up to the tower. Potter's still not there. He disappoints me. I hope that I won't have to resort to extreme measures.

I sit down, leaning against the wall and stretching out my legs. Why, I think it's the same wall against which Potter bashed my head, ironic.

Suddenly Potter appears, cursed Invisibility Cloak! He was there the whole time and I didn't know. Good thing I did not do or say anything drastic.

"Glad you showed up, Potter. I thought you would stand me up," my voice sounds unhurried and relaxed when I'm not.

He glares at me and folds the cloak, "I never run."

True, even when you should… "Sit."

Defiantly he raises his chin, "And why should I? You blackmail me and now you order me around?"

I am quite malicious "Yes, I blackmail you and that is precisely why you _should_ sit."

He glares at me some more and then lowers himself across from me, reluctantly, he watches me. "Why are you doing this, Malfoy?"

I'm surprised, "Hm, not what I thought you would ask."

"Just answer this one first. I've had some time to think. You owe me some answers," he's getting a backbone, I don't like this.

"Quite, Potter. I'll tell you what I will nothing more. You seem to think that you're in control of this," he always makes me angry.

"_This,_ and what exactly is _this_?" he gestures frantically and hysteria is in his voice.

I can't help but laugh at him; he looks flustered, "Calm down, Potter. I don't intend to listen to you rave all night."

"Explain _this_," he's trying really hard to look imposing, what a laugh.

"Nothing to explain. You were here as well as I. You know what happened and I don't think you wish me to retell it," at this he winces. "I have a little proposition as to the resolution of that," I love torturing him this way. "I propose that you meet me here every night until Friday."

Potter violently jerks back and hastily gets up and steps away from me, "What? Are you mad?"

"No, I believe that I'm perfectly sane. And I am being reasonable. Just meet me here and obey me for an hour, I ask nothing more," I calmly explain as to a child. Maybe he is a child, or was.

"No, you _are_ mad. Do you think I'm stupid?" he laughs but it does not sound genuine.

"You must be if you think no one will hear of this. I will tell the news, gladly, unless you do as I ask," I'm feeling rather smug by now. I always get what I want and for some strange reason the thought of Potter seems perfect to me.

"And what if I don't care whether you tell anyone."

"Oh, but you do," I can see it on your face and the way you stand.

Little more than a whisper, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I can."

"But I…" Potter never finishes and just turns away and I wonder just how much is this affecting him?

"Potter…" I begin to regret everything, "Is there an agreement between us?"

"Yes," he sounds quite sad and my regret deepens. I'm about to apologize or do something else that I'm bound to regret when Potter just stalks out. 

I'm satisfied and call out to him, "Tomorrow. Midnight. Be here."

I sit for some time gazing at the stars, wondering what I got myself into as Potter most definitely has to be wondering. I hope he comes tomorrow, I think he will.

I have some things I want to show him. Should be fun.

To Be Continued…

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**Next Installment:** Is Harry getting fed up with Draco? Why did he agree in the first place? And what in Hell is Draco thinking? All will be answered in the next chapter. As soon as I write it, and I will, it will be posted. At least this time FFN was offline for one day only; I was getting upset that it would take a week if not more.

**A/N:** This wasn't that bad but the next chapter will be more lively. :) Sorry it was so short, didn't want to bore you. Thank you so much to everyone for reviewing, I'm quite surprised at your responses. Hm, I'm not sure, Silverwitch, if I'll have a chance to gross you out, the first chapter will be the most disturbing of them all I think. The last chapter will not be a bowl of cherries but nothing extreme. If you would like I could find some stories that I read that would qualify for completely disgusting and disturbing.

 This still stands: Flame if you wish, I need something to laugh at; I mean I really need a good laugh.


	3. 3 If there is a Hell

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#3 – If there is a Hell…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_****

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, suicidal thoughts, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. 

**Notes:** I'm getting quite guilty at doing this to the characters especially when the next chapter comes to mind… I know that it does not affect them in any way but still. Has anyone noticed my lack of descriptive sex? Well, I just can't make myself write the descriptions artfully. And the drama will be revealed in the next chapter.

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My night was spent tossing and turning in my bed. Potter refuses to leave my thoughts alone. What else to do but indulge in them?

I wonder what it feels like to be in love, what it feels like to be loved. Was Potter ever in love? I wonder.

***

I still can't bear to see that look on his face. I glare at him every chance I get. I want him to know that he is mine… for a time. Those friends of his look at me apprehensively and whisper amongst each other. Is everyone thinking that I'm plotting something? I've become predictable. Not my intentions at all.

My skin feels like it's full of broken glass, quite unpleasant. Would the pain recede if I tore at the skin? I marvel at how it's still it's perfect pale self. But then why should it change I don't see the sun that often. Unlike Potter who trounces over the Hogwarts grounds most of the time.

Argh, Potter's back again. Simply can't wait until I can get my hands on him.

***

This time Potter's already there, pacing, impatient. And I'm not even late.

"Are you that eager, Potter, to be my slave?" at the sound of my voice he stops in mid-stride and looks inquisitively at me. I don't think he heard me.

Calmly I walk up to him, he's so lost looking. Potter starts to back away from me but that won't do. I grab his shoulder and lean in, close, so close. He stiffens of course and his eyes are so wide I wonder if they're in any danger of popping out.

My other hand traces over his lips but he doesn't move, doesn't even blink. Maybe this will be easier than I thought. Giving no though to anything I press myself up against his warm body and grabbing fistfuls of his robes I kiss him… finally.

Muffled words and hands pushing me away but I won't let go. He can't make me. Moving down to his neck hands massaging the shoulders, then clutching at that dark messy hair.

He whimpers as my hands move down his chest. My fingers find the clasp of his robes and hurriedly I push them away. His heartbeat has accelerated; I think this is affecting him more than he wants me to know. Time for a game.

My hands stray down, over his abdomen, the muscles twitch at my soft touch. My hands move down still, Potter bats my hands away, halfhearted attempts at thwarting me. But I shall **not** be stopped. 

My search is rewarded when I finally reach his hardness. Hmm, maybe he does not detest this as much as he would like me to think. I will take this for all it's worth.

I undo the belt and the pants almost slide off completely by themselves. I still can't understand why he wears such rags. It seems that I have succeeded and he gasps as I lightly brush the bulge in his underwear.

"Stop it, gods… stop it Malfoy," he is breathless. _I_ made him breathless.

He firmly pushes me away and this time I allow to be distanced from him. I've found out what I needed. I can't help but smile, he looks disheveled and flushed. "My, my, Potter, you seem to be enjoying yourself."

His features contort in disgust, not the best expression I've ever seen but enough to be treasured. He hastily buckles his belt.

"I'm not doing this anymore. I-I can't do this," shaking he wraps his arms around himself. "I can't _make_ myself do this."

"So, you're fond of smearing dirt on your perfect name, Harry Potter?" I hiss. "You should trust me to fulfill my promise if you back away from this. Is that what you want?"

"What I want, Malfoy, is to be left alone. I never asked for this," he sounds worn out and tired. I don't think I've been helping him with his sleep.

"Almost nothing is asked for but that doesn't mean that it's never received," bitter words from one who knows of such things.

He withdraws further away, that unmistakable fear again, "Do what you want just leave **me** alone."

"And the famous Potter just gives up, is that it?" I still can't register what he's saying; it's all so strange and far away. I haven't planned for such a thing to happen. Maybe I overplayed my hand.

"Call it what you want but if there's nothing that pertains to me that you wish to say, I'm leaving," I can't say anything, I want to threaten him again, make him stay but nothing comes to mind. 

With a resolute nod in my direction he walks away.

I'm mute _and_ lame it seems. I just stand there with my mouth trying to articulate something, _anything_.

Ah, how I wish that he had not gone back on our agreement. This is not going to be easy. Why is he pushing me to do this? Maybe I never should've started this but for my own sake I have to finish this.

Potter, you have no idea what you're doing to yourself, what you're doing to _me_.

After the listlessness of the shock, rage courses through me. I take it out on the wall, hitting it with my fists. Pain as the skin on my knuckles breaks, not exactly genius of me. I take to stalking across the floor. Three steps, pivot, three steps back, striking at the wall occasionally. I cannot think, just pace back and forth, how useless. If there is a Hell then I must be living it… it seems.

I lean against the wall, pressing my cheek against the cool stones. As time passes so does my anger and I feel drained. But Potter must pay all the same. 

Yes… he **will**. First thing at breakfast.

To Be Continued…

--------------------------------

**Next Installment:** Will Draco tell all? Is this it for Harry's reputation? And what may I ask is Harry thinking? All will be answered in the next chapter. As soon as I write it and as soon as fanfiction.net is working properly, it will be posted.

**A/N:** And the plot thickens if you can call this a plot. :) Gah, I can't get myself out of the perpetual "short chapter" mode, will try to fix in the next one. After all it is the last one. Thanks, Hannya, that was actually pretty funny since it was out of the blue. And there I was thinking that nobody reads my notes. Thank you, Hatsumomo, my computer does not seem to pick up on that, I'll have to check everything more carefully. Thank you everyone for such responses, I'm astonished that the story pleases so many of you. I really should make a thank you to everyone in the last chapter. I think I will.


	4. 4 I stay alive

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#4 – I stay alive…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_****

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. 

**Notes:** Here we finally see the drama and of course more angst. And for the sake of the storyline that I have in my head let's say that there are stores with Muggle things located in Diagon Alley.

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The day starts off nice enough; the weather's not particularly hasty to take a turn for the coming winter. Deceitful weather.

I feel like I've never got up out of bed today, it seems like a dream, all hazy and untrue. How I wish it were untrue. I keep wrestling with myself. Should I tell and keep my promise or should I break that promise for my _own_ sanity. For I will go mad if I do not choose soon. Even if I do not hold the promise to Potter I'll hold the promise to myself and this will be done at breakfast.

But how can that be. If I break the promise to Potter all promises are broken. And I'm broken, too… by Potter. Ah, this is not working. I cannot win the argument.

***

I sit listlessly at the Slytherin table. I can't help but glance at Potter ever so often. He does not look worse for wear, no outward signs that he is afraid or at least doubtful.

I barely eat as my throat is constricted and won't let anything but water pass through. I don't know if I'll be able to get the words out. Was it a wise decision? Should I reconsider?

No.

As Potter gets ready to leave the Hall I gather my courage and follow. Crabbe and Goyle amble alongside as usual.

"Potter," I put contempt in that name, as I should. "What would you say to a chat?"

"Depends on the topic?" I think he's daring me to say it. Does he know that which even I don't know?

"I think you'd be very interested in it and so will the rest of the school," I can't do this. I don't know what reaction this will bring. Am I endangering my own name? Daddy would have a fit; I'd be good as dead. 

"Say whatever you came here to say unless you've forgotten it," Granger and Weasley snicker at this but I have no retort to them or Potter. Bloody hell, I've no idea what to say. This is fine mess I've put myself in.

"I just wanted to reassure you that we will flatten you in the Quidditch match," I smirk for good measure. Must be convincing. "Just thought you ought to know."

Potter's eyes are full of amusement, "And you, Malfoy, should also know that if we ever get flattened it won't be due to _your_ superior Seeker skills."

I could strangle the bugger, why does he have to know a retort to everything I say? Couldn't he have been a little more meek and made my job easier? What job would that be?

Crabbe and Goyle move forward, looking menacing. I stop their advance with a wave of my hand, "He's not worth it." I start walking away at the last minute a retort finally reaches me, "And, Potter, don't be too self-confident. That'll land you in a bad gripe to be sure."

"No worse then what I have landed into recently," there is sadness in his voice and it makes me feel worse.

I've had enough of this, it's giving me a headache and so early in the morning, too. No more words. I do the only thing that I can think of: walk away stately without looking back.

***

The day has been spent in awful agony. How did I get down to this level, it's beyond me. It's very demoralizing to think of one thing and then realize that it makes no sense at all. How Potter manages to tantalize everyone and save the world innumerable times is beyond me as well. Hateful indeed.

And now it's almost midnight but Potter won't be there. He won't be there because I've gone and done stupid things, said stupid things, too. I still can't sleep.

With not much hope I reach the Astronomy Tower. My hope lies in that my thoughts may comfort me for a time and then I'll sleep.

I start as I realize that there _is_ someone, someone sitting on the floor, someone who looks a lot like Potter! I must have gasped or let loose some other such sound because most suddenly he stands up and turns in my direction.

"You," he says, it sounds vaguely accusing and hurt.

"I guess that it wouldn't be appropriate to state that I'm not me?" what stupid things I still keep saying.

"No, it wouldn't. What are you doing here?" something glints in his hand but he quickly puts it into one of his pockets.

"I couldn't sleep," no use in telling him the reason. I've no wish to be laughed at.

"Any other reason?" mild amusement tinges his voice. My hate returns.

"None that you should care about," more malice then I intended but so is everything else that I do and say.

"Listen, you started this and I want out," Potter says, haughtily, too.

I sigh and cross to the wall. Memories coming unwanted I sit, leaning against it, "If my word's enough then I withdraw the agreement. The only thing that stands is that no one knows of this. We will not speak of _it_ again."

Potter scowls, "It might be easy for you to forget, but I can't forget."

"What do you propose that I do? Cast a memory charm?" it always takes some sarcastic comments to warm me up.

"No, that won't help, you'll still remember," Potter fumbles in his pocket and takes out something unfamiliar. I don't like it.

He calmly walks closer to me and sits down, " What will help is either getting rid of you" he points at me with the metal contraption, "or revenge."

"Tsk, I think that both are ridiculous but if you insist then revenge will be best," I've no intention to answer to him on behalf of my actions.

Potter does not reply but kept staring at the metal thing in his hands.

"For god's sake, what is it that you're holding?" maybe it was not wise of me to speak because he looks up at me and his gaze is cold.

"_This_," he holds up the thing for emphasis, "is a gun."

"If I knew what you were talking about I might say something intelligent," I cross my arms across my chest arrogantly.

"It's a Muggle invention, quite useful, too," he moves it from hand to hand, testing it's weight, "Got it at a Muggle store in Diagon Alley. Never know when such a thing will become useful."

My mouth is parched, I don't like this at all, "And what exactly does it… do?" I'm afraid of the answer but the suspense is making me uneasy.

He smiles a haunting smile, "Why, it kills of course," simple words, matter-of-fact, any idiot should know this words. But I didn't and now that I do I reevaluate Potter.

Potter puts the slimmer end of it to his right temple and I shudder, "Now, would you like to get rid of me? It's very easy."

I don't know what to say, nothing seems right. Why does everything have to be so difficult? I have to stall, get the "gun" from him. Whatever it does it's not pretty, the design of it betrays it's sinister nature

"Erm… you don't have to do that at my behalf. Revenge sounds good, anything in particular that you had in mind?" my muscles are frozen; I've no idea what to do.

"Do not play with me anymore and do not mock me," oh, gods, why do I keep getting myself into these things?

"Ah… I don't mock you, I… I really mean what I said. I won't interfere do what you will as long as you leave me alone afterwards," stupid, stupid, why did I go and offer my throat to him?

Potter lowers his arm and smiles devilishly, "Are you completely sure of this?"

"Er… now that you mention it –"

I get rudely cut off when the gun levels with my face, oh, fuck. "Uh, Potter, what are you doing?"

"You did say that you would let me get my revenge," he looked calm and collected. How could you be calm pointing something lethal in my direction?

My eyes must be huge by now, "But I never gave you the permission to **kill **me." I'm sounding hysterical. Who _wouldn't_ be?

"Ah, well, the world is cruel. You've no idea how you made me feel," his voice wavers at this.

"But if you kill me I'll never be able to know. Just give me this gun and we'll talk and I'll make it up to you, I promise," I hold out my hand and Potter glances at it doubtfully.

He looks troubled, "With what do you plead?" oh, he is merciless. My hand drops into my lap.

Good question but I have no answer, well, none that is useful to me, "I-I plead with my life."

Potter shakes his head, "Not good enough."

I'm about to retort but realize that the thing is still pointed at me, not a good time to piss off Potter. I'm going to have Hell trying to come up with something plausible that will get me out of this.

My head spins, "Please, don't do this. I mean, you can't be serious, I can't – "

This time it's Potter who backhands me across the face, unpleasant to say the least. I feel the tangy taste of blood in my mouth; I think I've bit my tongue.

"No, you see, I _am_ serious," there is a click and my heart leaps up into my throat. I swallow with difficulty and realize that nothing is going to happen.

Potter smiles sadly at me and lowers that abomination; "You have no faith, now, do you?"

"Not when you look like you did, no," I still don't understand what happened.

I think Potter guesses as much from my dumbfounded expression because he decides to explain, "There were no bullets in it. They are these metal shells and the gun shoots them out. Shoots to kill."

He drops the thing into my hands and it feels cold. I pick it up carefully; my hands are shaking uncontrollably, and with disgust throw it to the side. It clatters as it hits the stones.

Potter rolls his eyes and rises, goes over to the spot where I threw the gun and stuffs it back into that wretched pocket. He walks back to where I'm sitting and stands there above me looking down on me. I feel quite insignificant.

"Get up," is all he says and I feel the obligation to do so. My muscles protest and I stiffly rise holding onto the wall for support.

Potter stares at me expectantly, "What?" is all I can manage.

He sighs theatrically,  "Now's the time for the question of why did you do it in the first place and what happened to you threat?"

"I'm not sure," what a fool I must look.

Potter laughs at this, "What _are_ you sure of?"

"Er… I am sorry for whatever pain I've caused you," the words feel heavy and rushed. I don't think Potter believes me.

"You're lying, say something that you really mean, Malfoy," it was said simply with no malice but does he know what he's asking of me? I think he does.

"I… I'm in… I think I… I can't say it," dejectedly I slump to the floor.

"Alright then," I see his feet moving away from me.

Pathetically I crawl after him, "No, don't leave me here."

He twirls around to face me, I can't look into his eyes, "But that's what you did, why shouldn't I do the same?" Where does he get all these good questions?

"I think I might be attached to you… in the _emotional_ way…" I suck at this emotional crap.

He laughs again, "Interesting way to put it, have you been preparing this line for long?"

My eyes sting and then start blurring, oh, Hell, I'm going to cry. I still don't dare to look up but am obliged to when Potter kneels before me and pushes up my head.

"I see you're quite sincere about this," he strokes my hair lovingly. So nice. I close my eyes and compose myself.

"Has this attachment lasted long?" no incrimination in Potter's voice. I should probably stop calling him Potter, what's the use of that? Harry's a nice enough name. He's… Harry.

Because of him I stay alive. "Yes… always," the words feel easier to say.

He thoughtfully stares at the sky and repeats in a hushed voice, "Always."

I'm very disappointed when Potter… no, Harry, stops the soothing movement and stands up.

"Think about it some more," he strides away from me. I feel abject humiliation and abandonment after the close contact.

"No, Harry, please don't leave me," at hearing his name said, he pauses, but then moves on. I try crawling after him but my body does not respond.

I stretch my hand out to him and then let it fall. Tears are streaming down my face but I don't care, "Don't go," barely a whisper.

_Love you… always._

To Be Continued…

--------------------------------

**Next Installment:** Harry's thoughts throughout the whole fiasco. This is to clear a few things up, could be the last part. 

**A/N:** The chapter turned out better then I expected. All the chapters were proofread, there shouldn't be any errors left. The story might even have some romance in it, for me that's a development.

**Note on chapter titles:** All the chapter title except the 2nd one were taken from various lyrics on Nine Inch Nails' CD "The Downward Spiral". They are as follows: 1st chapter – "Piggy", 3rd chapter – "Heresy", and 4th chapter – "Closer".

And here are my thanks to all my reviewers (I will miss those who reviewed after I posted this chapter):

JaiyAlex: Of course it's not wrong that you enjoyed it. I'm very glad that you liked it and I hope the rest was just as enjoyable.

Oili: Eh, who cares if it's a proper review? Next I'll try my hand at some good old sarcasm. A humor fic is in order.

cloud berry: I live in angsty stuff. (my parents don't approve) :P

Penguingirl: You're not a sicko, I am. :) Thank you for such kind words. I aim to please, sort of.

Aquamarine: Thank you very much, your review is very poetic. I'll be sure to keep this in mind.

Demia: I still haven't happened upon one of those fics, oh well. I don't know if I have answer your prayers of originality, I have not read all there is to read and I was bound to repeat at least something.

BabyPufoo: Thank you, I hope you enjoyed the rest.

Cherries: There are always worse things. I agree Draco is very cool.

Silverwitch: I hope those fics were able to finally gross you out or at least came close. Maybe I'll still be able to answer your challenge, I can't resist one.

Celeste: Happy that you likes it so much. Well, you can sort of say that they do fall in love. In a weird demented way. ;)

Hannya: Harry is cute when he is being abused and also when he's the abuser. :) Sometimes the unlikely love stories do grind on my nerves.

Hatsumomo: Honoured that this little thing caught your attention after all those pages. That legendary willpower of Harry's has actually shown itself. I really tried to keep in character (haha). No hard feelings for lack of flaming. Oh, and did I surprise you?

Baby j: Glad you like it. Might even do a sequel of sorts if an idea shows itself to me.

Lilah.Morgan: Ah, I'm glad that you like the story. I was going more for the emotional impact of it all rather than the descriptions of everything else. I still suck at anything too descriptive.


	5. 5 Break you

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#5 – Break you…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_****

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, suicidal thoughts, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. Not as much for this chapter either.

**Notes:** This chapter title also comes from NIN's "The Downward Spiral" CD, the song's called "Eraser". This is Harry's point of view taking place right after he walks out of the Astronomy Tower. 

--------------------------------

Gah, I could kick myself. What did I say that for? No idea whatsoever except that I felt the need to say it or I would go mad. At least I have my revenge though it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would be. Will I ever get Malfoy lying on the floor, completely beaten, out of my head? At least it isn't the image of Malfoy leering at me. I don't think I'll ever get the feel of his hands off my skin.

I wish that I didn't have any image at all; just get him out of my head. But then the dialogue takes over. He said my name and in as discreet a manner as he could he told me that he did not hate me. But he can't actually _love_ me; I've given him no reason to do so. But neither had I given a good enough reason to Ginny and look what happened there. 

I bring up a good point to **negate **myself. I think the whole Malfoy problem has scrambled my brain indefinitely

I don't think that staring at the canopy of my bed helps much. Will I ever be able to have a goodnight's sleep again? Things just aren't going my way. Will they ever?

Why exactly did I tell him to think about it? I'm sure that he won't find a different answer and do I really want a different answer? I ask too much of myself.

Will I ever be able to forget the whole thing? Gods, I can't take this. Why should everything happen to me?

***

If I ever spend another such night I'll start falling asleep during dinner. Hmm, maybe I should warn Ron, wouldn't do any good to drown in my soup.

Everyone jovially races down to breakfast and I follow halfheartedly. Going down to breakfast means that I'll be seeing Malfoy there and that's not such a good prospect after what I did recently. Oh, lord, did I just think that? Do I really take everyone else's feelings over my own? Eh, I don't want to even start thinking about _that_.

"Harry, hey… Harry, are you still with us?" Ron's face appears and thankfully he shocks me out of it.

"Uhh, yes, I'm fine," he just gives me an inquisitive look but from then on left me to my wandering mind. _Very_ wandering mind. There will come a time when all my pathetic excuses for the sleepless nights will not make do. I should come up with some better excuses.

And there's Malfoy sitting at his table with those idiots, as usual. He looks normal enough which is not that unusual. I think I'm too preoccupied as to whether Malfoy looks affected or not. Why should I care? I don't think that he thought about me one whit after he raped me. Gods, now why should I think about _that_ right now?

He made me feel so impure. What the hell was he trying to prove? On, this is useless. I shouldn't be asking these things of myself I should be asking Malfoy.

I think that's exactly what I'll do, as soon as I can get him alone. Hmm, I better eat before Hermione decides to stuff something down my throat like yesterday, I don't like the way she keeps glancing my way. Best to smile and eat something.

Thankfully Malfoy no longer stares at me except that I have trouble from keeping my gaze away from him.

***

I hope I wasn't mistaken, the schedule does say that Slytherins have Quidditch practice today. But, no, here they come. Putting the Invisibility Cloak over myself I retreat into a corner. No good to be trampled by _that _lot. 

Malfoy's the last of them and for that I'm grateful. Carefully I walk behind him, when the rest of the team is out of sight I take off the cloak and as cautiously as possible I tap him on the shoulder.

The response is instant; he almost jumps out of his skin. Oh, Hell, I don't think I can do this. Maybe he's not as unaffected as he looks. And come to think of it he doesn't look all that healthy at the moment, his skin is too sallow, even for him. Actually, he looks very disheveled and windblown. Er… I'll deal with that treacherous thought later.

"Malfoy, I need to talk with you," not the best I could've said, not the best tone I used either.

He regains some of his arrogant demeanor and glares at me, "So talk."

"Not now and not here," I gesture around to indicate the hallway.

"So when and where?" he smirks for effect.

Oh, I'm getting tired of this, "Forbidden Forest, at midnight tonight."

"And why should I listen to you?" will he ever give up the disinterested routine?

"I'm sure you want to talk about this as much as I do, so spare yourself and me the trouble and just listen for once to what's being asked of you. I'm sure that doesn't happen too often but make an exception this one time," my little speech surprises him as much as myself.

"Alright, but where exactly? The Forbidden Forest is not particularly that small," Malfoy bring up a good point even though I do want to strangle him by now.

"You know what? Just come to the edge of the forest, I'll find you," the Marauder's Map will come in handy here.

"Fine, and if there's nothing else you have to say I have to go and take a shower," interesting lilt that his voice acquires at the strangest moments. I don't think I've heard this tone of voice before.

Before I can dissect that sentence further Malfoy looks at me funny and then without further bantering he leaves me there. I decide not to push my luck and just let him walk away.

I have trouble of thinking about anything but the downtrodden look on Malfoy's face when I confronted him. He looked… sad. I don't think I've seen him that sad before, excluding the times when he didn't get what he wanted. Argh, I _am_ what he wants! Now why does that sound so unlikely and crazy and… improbable? Because it **is**! But he does look remorseful and so… broken.

I didn't mean to break you, Malfoy, honest, but now I don't know if I'll be able to put you back together… or myself.

To Be Continued…

--------------------------------

**Next Installment:** Will Harry be able to put Draco back together? What is Harry planning? Does Draco even know that he's been tamed? Answers in the next chapter. Most probably to be posted on September 1st.

**A/N:** I don't particularly even like this chapter. Sorry that it was short. The idea is not completely developed so I'm not sure how much longer this all will go on, I'm trying my hardest to keep this going with interesting plot and keep them in character. (I'm not even sure if there is one.) This will continue at least up to **chapter 8**. I had to hit myself over the head with a bottle so I could resume breathing after reading your reviews. Lilah.Morgan: I think I've read that story just a few days ago, it's very nicely written. Misako: Since everything before this chapter was Draco's point of view he would never know if Harry did talk about it with his friends. Mikki White: Thank you so much for the comments. And I did think about becoming an author (my parents aren't exactly supportive of that idea) the only problem I see is that I need some sort of imposed deadline in order to keep writing something long. (All the reviews I get here motivate me :) I do write original stories, that's all I wrote until this little story settled in and wouldn't leave until I wrote it down. For now there are only 4 stories that I posted on ff.net, one of them is still incomplete. Here's the link to my profile which has all the links to the originals if anyone wants to read them: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=233552 


	6. 6 I am the truth

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#6 – I am the truth…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_****

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, suicidal thoughts, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. Not as much for this chapter either.

**Notes:** This chapter title also comes from NIN's "The Downward Spiral" CD, the song's called "Mr. Self-Destruct". (As you can see I adore that CD completely) This is Draco's point of view taking place in the Forbidden Forest. 

--------------------------------

I'm starting to doubt myself. Why did I ever let Pot… no… Harry talk me into this. It's cold for October and standing on the edge of the Forbidden Forest was never one of my wishes. I think he won't be able to find me; this was a very stupid idea of his. But what's new.

There is rustle off to the side and I can't help but start. Turns out that it's Harry with that confounded Invisibility Cloak. Easy for him to sneak around like that. I have to be careful _and_ try to blend into the walls.

"Potter, never sneak up on me like that ever again," I might be able to call him Harry in my thoughts but actually speaking it will be my undoing.

He smiles a ghostly smile, "I thought we were past such childish games. And I'm fairly sure that it was you who called me Harry. Just yesterday as I recall."

Ah, so he did hear my words, this only makes me angrier, "I did, _Harry_, but you did not seem to care."

"Actually you were the deaf one if I remember correctly and then you had the audacity to blackmail me and then _leave_ me… but I won't go into details I'm sure you've written it all down. But I shouldn't get off topic or loose my temper that would be quite useless," there was bitterness in his voice and his face contorts in distaste.

I am taken aback by that accusation and my carefully put up façade cracks a little more, "What did you want to talk about then?"

"Let's walk," he gestures towards the forest. I just shrug and walk into the trees. The crunching footsteps behind me speed up and Harry walks by my side.

I glance at him but he just stares at his feet as we make our way to god knows where, "Say something already. I've not come here to walk in the woods."

If anything Harry just looks doubtful, "See now, you made me forget it."

"Wasn't that important then," what would be so hard to say?

"Alright, you want me to talk? So I'll talk, but don't interrupt me, " I shrug again, he really isn't behaving Potter-like.

"You might think that you're untouchable, anything wrong you do will go by like nothing happened. I still maintain that anything you want you get. Otherwise you wouldn't be as vain and inconsiderate to absolutely everyone who is not exactly like you. I believe you seriously think that the world revolves around you and that just because you've had me I will crawl to you on my knees," this is going too far, I think I've started spluttering, he glares at me and continues, "Yes, I believe that's exactly what you think. Otherwise why else would you propose that dreadful idea of obeying you like a slave. I think you abhor the very idea that there are people who **don't **like you and **won't** obey you. Just so you know I'm one of _those_ people."

With a deep breath he calms himself and stops. I can't comprehend how he could do that; tell the truth that wasn't even clear to **me**.

I must look dreadful because Harry looks at me strangely. I think I've finally earned myself the pity of the Boy Who Lived.

"I'm sorry," I say it so quietly that I don't think Harry has heard me. 

"Does it even matter now? Don't you think that you can just apologize and everything will be made better," his anger returns and I don't think my apology has hit him yet. Doesn't he know that by the personality he drew up of me I shouldn't apologize for anything either.

"Are we done?" he's getting me mad all over again, I don't think I can take much more.

"No, we're not done. I'll not pass up a chance to lower you a little from the clouds," he stares off into the black woods around us.

"And there I though that you would say that I was a devil incarnate," I must always trust my sarcasm.

He actually smiles at this, "Not exactly, either way you have a much too high opinion of yourself."

"And you don't," simple really, anyone can see that. And I don't think I helped that image even a little bit. When it comes down to it, I'm just as everyone makes me out to be: selfish. Quite a revelation to me, I think I've gone lightheaded. Harry's right there so I grab his hand, he really doesn't know what to do with them, to steady myself.

"Malfoy, what on Earth?" he jerks his hand out of my grip. I really can't keep myself upright, my legs buckle under the weight of the realization and I fall onto my knees.

"What's wrong with you, get up," Harry has no sense at all. His hands awkwardly pull at my robes but as this can't pull me up he just gives up.

"Leave me be Harry, I'll crawl back by myself, no need to worry," true to my word I start crawling in the direction which I think is the direction from which we came from, can't be too sure though.

"Stop it, Malfoy, just stop it. You're proven it but the theatrics are too much," I twist my head around to take a look at him. I think he's blushing but you can never tell in this kind of light.

"Proven what exactly?" I slump to the ground, it's not too warm but it'll do for now.

"That you're sorry, I heard you, you know? Heard you the first time as well," he looks really uncomfortable.

"My, my, what good hearing you have," I can't help but twist my lips in the form of something like a smile.

"No, you see, I did hear you but that does not mean that I'll just accept it. You should pay for what you did, nothing's free, you should know that better than me," he says.

"But I did pay, you made sure of that in the Astronomy Tower, you have had your revenge. Can't we put this behind us?" now it's my turn to be uncomfortable, funny how Harry can turn the situation on me.

"No, what happened wasn't enough. You don't think that little scare was the extent of my revenge. I believe that you haven't learned the lesson yet, otherwise you wouldn't be as smug," oh, he really is insufferable. What have I gotten myself into?

"But I am so sorry. I would like to have your trust; can't you **give** that to me? I am the truth from which you run, don't you know? I would…I would like to have your… love," shit, why did I just say that? What demon possessed me? When did I become desperate?

"I can't just give you anything, you'll have to earn it. Or didn't you hear me when I said that nothing is free. And that includes my _love_, if you can _ever_ earn it. And you certainly aren't the truth you're just the reality," his lips are set in a thin line. I think our conversation has come to an end. He's too clever for my good.

"Now, would you like to get up, please? You don't expect me to carry you all the way to the castle, do you?" he raises an eyebrow for emphasis.

"No, that kindness won't be needed. I think I can walk by myself, thanks," I get up slowly and make a show of brushing off the dirt from my immaculate robes. Harry sighs and purposefully walks away without seeing if I'm following. That's alright, I have what I need. Even that little admission of his gives me some hope.

Hmm, earn his love; I think I can do that. Shouldn't be too hard, knowing Harry.

I'll see what I can do.

To Be Continued…

--------------------------------

**Next Installment:** What exactly is Draco planning? Will Harry ever forgive Draco? And will Draco ever earn Harry's love? Answered in the next chapter. Most probably to be posted on **September 3rd**.

**A/N:** I think I've run into a pattern: 1 long chapter, 2 short chapters, 1 long chapter, etc. Which means the next one should be longer, yay. I've found out that I enjoy writing from Draco's point of view more than Harry's or maybe it was just that I didn't like that particular chapter. And **Chapter 7 **will be Harry's point of view again. I have grand plans for it. :)


	7. 7 Doesn't that make you feel better

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#7 – Doesn't that make you feel better…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_****

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, suicidal thoughts, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. Not as much for this chapter either.

**Notes:** This chapter title also comes from NIN's "The Downward Spiral" CD, the song's called "March of the Pigs". (Am I overusing the poor CD for chapter titles? Do I want the answer? haha) This is Harry's point of view taking place in the Great Hall at breakfast, the next day. The poem used is the work of Tristan Corbiere and the translation is not mine, though the French that I do know tells me that the translation isn't word for word. It is entitle Sonnet de Nuit or as translated to English Night Sonnet.

--------------------------------

Oh, Hell, I really need at least a few hours of good sleep. And yesterday's "chat" with Malfoy did nothing for that. How can he manage to look downright lost one minute and then start leering like the bastard that he is. Very attractive leering but all the same. Did I just think that? Apparently.

I could kick myself, I can't have Ron and Hermione getting suspicious, whatever shall I say to them when they do get suspicious? That I'll have to think about later for now it's enough trying to avoid that git.

Hmm, he's just sitting there self-satisfied. I sit down between Hermione and Ron and automatically start eating, my eyes never leave Malfoy. He just sits there with a smirk on his face as if sensing my intrusive gaze or just of his own will he looks right at me and his smirk widens. If I could chance it I would walk over there and put his face to rights. Punch some sense into him, not that it worked the _last_ time I tried it.

I look away and find Ron staring strangely at me; I smile thinly at him and keep on eating. Oh, things aren't going well at all. Maybe now's a good time to think of an excuse.

Let's see, the truth will never see the daylight, nightmares won't explain why I was staring at Malfoy… that's it! I was staring at Malfoy because I'm planning something devious against him. The only plausible explanation, nothing wrong with it and it leads everyone away from the very unlikely and completely opposite situation, sort of. I _am_ supposed to be plotting something devious but my heart's not in it, where is my heart? Surely not with _Malfoy_.

A hoot interrupts my musings and startled I find one of the school owls hovering over my plate. I stick out my hand and the parchment drops into it. Curiously I unroll it, no seal, who would send me a letter? A little early for mail as well. The script is cursive but easily read…

_O crois__ée ensommeillée,_****

_Dure __à mes trente-six morts!_

_Vitre en diamant, éraillée_

_Par mes atroces accords!_

_Herse hérissant rouillée_

_Tes crocs où je prends et mords!_

_Oubliette verrouillée_

_Qui me renferme… dehors!_

_Pour Toi, Bourreau que j'encense,_

_L'amour n'est donc que vengeance?…_

_Ton balcon: gril à braiser?…_

_Ton col: collier de garrotte?…_

_Eh bien! Ouvre, Iscariote,_

_Ton Judas pour un baiser!_

There is no signature. The letter's not addressed but the owl couldn't have been mistaken. I stare at the parchment some more but the words make no more sense then when I first scanned through them. I glance at Malfoy and see that he's still smirking widely. I see him wink and startled I drop the parchment.

This earns me Ron's curiosity, "What have you got there?" he picks up the strange letter and scans it. "What language is this? And who'd send something like it to you?" this of course brings around Hermione.

"Let me see, Ron, I might be able to tell you," she plucks the piece of paper out of Ron's hands much to his protesting. The is a moment of silence as she looks over the writing, then her face lights up, "Why, it's in French! Who'd send you something in French?"

Ron nods enthusiastically, "Exactly what I said, well, Harry?"

I shrug nonchalantly, "I don't know. Anyway it might've been a mistake, I can't read French. How'd you know it was in French in the first place?"

Hermione rolls her eyes dramatically at this, "Oh, Harry, tsk, it's common sense. Plus, it's not like I don't know a few words. There was something about love and Judas. What a strange combination… are you sure you don't know who sent it to you?"

"No, I really don't," I take the letter, from Hermione's hand. This little thing causes way too much trouble. I fold it up and put it into my pocket. Love… Judas…?

"Well, all right," she shrugs and goes back to eating and flipping through another one of those big and dusty books that no one ever bothers to read. Why, otherwise they wouldn't be so dusty.

Ron looks confused and I really can't blame him, "And what exactly is Judas?"

"It's not a what, Ron, it's a who," Hermione never misses a chance to lecture.

"All right, who then?" by the tone of voice, I think Ron's getting angry.

"It's Muggle person. All in all he betrayed his best friend. It's practical Muggle religion. Really, Ron you should think about taking Muggle Studies," her tone of voice suggested that this was common knowledge, but even I didn't know this.

Ron screwed up his face at that prospect but then his eyes went wide, "Ha, I bet I know who sent it to you, Harry. It was that Malfoy, I'll wager, trying to confuse you and what not," Ron looked quite pleased with himself but Hermione chose not to comment.

"Maybe," was all I said but inside I felt slightly relieved. I think the game has started. But how does he suppose to win anything with something that doesn't even affect me. The suspense will kill me unless I know what exactly that Malfoy is up to.

As discretely as possible I take out that strange French letter and rip off a piece of parchment. Hastily I scribble a short note: _Meet me in the old supply room on the 3rd floor, midnight tonight._

As I think of a good excuse to go over to the Slytherin table and harass Malfoy, his derisive voice interrupts, "So, _Potter_, received another letter from your numerous fans or maybe… maybe it's a love letter. Who's it from, I'm _dying_ to know." 

I don't even bother turning around, "Then go and die somewhere but leave me alone."

"Aww, poor Potter, was it from Mud-blood here," at that he contemptuously gestures at Hermione. I can see Ron's ear going pink. I put a hand on his arm to restrain him, "It's not worth it, Ron. Just let it go."

A mock gasp from Malfoy, "Or could it be… from the Weasel, my word" This earns us many snickers and catcalls. This is going too far. I slowly rise from my seat and turn to face Malfoy, the note is tightly clutched in my hand.

He's still smirking, the git, "Take that back, Malfoy."

"What if I don't? You're going to hit me because your boyfriend's too flimsy to do it himself?" Malfoy sounds downright mean and his confidence doesn't help me get my anger in check. Ron finally jumps up and starts for Malfoy. 

I put out an arm to restrain him, "Ron, this is between me and Malfoy"

"But, Harry…" a murderous rage burns within me and Ron seems to have picked up on it as he says nothing further but stands back.

"Hm, ready to give up, Potter," he advances and I stand my ground. I think I like it much better when he uses my name. Glancing quickly at the teacher's table I notice Snape and Professor McGonogall looking at the gathering wearily, well Snape looks more angry than anything but that's Snape. Can't let this go too far.

Time to straighten things out, so to speak, grabbing Malfoy's robes I pull him up to my face, "No, Malfoy, I'll never give up. You on the other hand… should."

Malfoy smiles widely and leans his head even closer, his lips are right next to my ear. The moment seems stretched and unnaturally long.

"Doesn't that make you feel better?" he whispers, his warm breath ghosts over my ear and I can't suppress the shivers that run up my spine.

With that Malfoy carefully peels my hands off his robes and in the process take the note. I just stare for a moment and then coming to I step back, "Fuck off, Malfoy"

No reply, he just arches his eyebrows suggestively and when I realize what I said I turn away. Wouldn't do any good to let Malfoy see me blush. I wait for some retort but none come. Sneaking a glance back I see that Malfoy and his cohorts have left, most of them still snickering and talking amongst themselves.

I stay quiet and everyone at the table leaves me alone. Now I can't help but think of that accursed letter and what it could mean. And why exactly did Malfoy say that to me? Does **what** make me feel better?

***

The whole day was spent within my thoughts. Malfoy is truly driving me mad, at this rate I'll soon forget to eat. Those tantalizing glimpses of him every once in a while really don't help much. Gods, why do I keep think about Malfoy _that_ way? He's really getting to me, I can't let that happen.

With agonizing slowness the day creeps on. Sitting in the common room doing homework isn't the best distraction but I can't have Malfoy mess everything up, my grades must not suffer from this.

Finally it's a quarter to midnight. Grabbing my Invisibility Cloak and stealing out of the dorms I make my way down to the 3rd floor. Deterred once by the moving staircases at last I reach the supply room. Taking off the cloak I fold it hazardously.

Walking in cautiously I notice that Malfoy's not there yet. I'm about to settle onto the ground to wait when I notice a hint of something white in the general darkness. At a closer look it turns out to be a piece of parchment. Whispering _Lumos_ I look at it more closely, turns out that there's something written on it and the handwriting is the same as on the letter I received at breakfast…

_O sleeping casement,_

_Hardened to my umpteen deaths!_

_Diamond pane, scratched_

_By my atrocious chords!_

_Spiky rusting portcullis_

_Your hooks where I hang and gnaw!_

_Bolted dungeon_

_Which shuts me… out!_

_For You, Torturer before I burn incense,_

_Is love nothing but vengeance?…_

_Your balcony: a braising grill?…_

_Your necklace: a garrote?…_

_Well, come on! Iscariot,_

_Open up your Judas spyhole for a kiss!_

I can't help it, the poem flutters to the ground and I just stand there in shock. Out of the corner of my eye I see a pale boy emerge from the shadows, Malfoy.

"Well, have you nothing to say?" he moves ever closer. I have no reply; I stand stock still with my mouth hanging open like a landed fish.

He just shrugs and then he's upon me. His mouth covers my own in ravenous kisses, I'm still rooted to the spot. His tongue tries to elicit a response from me but I have nothing to respond with.

With a disgusted sigh he pulls away, "Really, Harry, can't you at least protest. I feel like I'm kissing a corpse." Hmm, there's an idea.

"Why did you do that?" it feels as if I'm in a dream and nothing matters.

"Didn't you read the poem that I wrote? It explains everything, really, I would have though that you appreciated fine art," he shakes his head and those fine hairs move about as if in a breeze, "I stated quite plainly that you should open up for a kiss, fairly elementary, and you did."

"I was in shock if you didn't notice or were you too preoccupied with coming on to me? No, don't answer that. And you call that… that thing fine art, you must be mental," I can't help but step away from the "poem" and look at it hatefully. "So, it really was you who wrote the French thing as well?

"Of course, I knew you wouldn't understand the French version so I decide to translate," he looks satisfied, the bastard.

I ignore the comment and try to sound normal, "I didn't know that you knew French."

"When you live in an upstanding family like mine, you pick up things in order to be courteous. After all, manners are everything," at this he gestures towards the fallen parchment and smiles.

I just scowl distastefully.

"You are so immature," with that he kisses me again this time I push at him. His hands tangle into my hair and he pulls on the strands, pain pulses where the hair was yanked, I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the stinging to go away. If not for the pain, I might actually think that this was nice. Agh, no, can't start thinking that.

With another tug at my hair Malfoy's hands let go and he breaks the kiss, panting.

Looking balefully at his flushed face I realized that this is having an unwanted affect on me. I can't have him catch _that_ little detail. Glancing briefly at the Slytherin I start backing away and turning around I start running.

"Pot-Harry what the… don't do this again, don't you dare…" the rest floats away as I round the corner.

Breathing heavily from my dash I finally make it safely into the Gryffindor common room. That's the **last** time I meet up with him in a small dark room.

Really, what nerve. I don't think I'll be able to get that "poem" out of my head. Come to think of it neither will I be able to get rid of the feel of those lips… Gah, don't think of _that_, not now…

Oh, bloody Hell.

To Be Continued…

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**Next Installment:** What in Hell was Draco thinking? Was he even thinking? Will they ever come to an agreement? Is this it? Answered in the next chapter. Most probably to be posted on **September 5th**. This date could change since this is the first day of school for me, never know what might happen.

**A/N:** This chapter was fun to write and it came easily. I would like to thank again all the faithful reviewers. What'd I do without you? Probably wouldn't write this story anymore. But have no fear I'll finish this thing, it's nagging me incessantly.


	8. 8 My beautiful liar

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#8 – My beautiful liar…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :)

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE, NON-CONCENTUAL and COERCED SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. WHY, oh WHY did they remove the NC-17 category??? Hat to change the rating, *pouts*.

**Notes:** Whew, it's finally here! The chapter title comes from NIN "The Downward Spiral" CD; the song is titled "Reptile". (I promise the next chapter will derive its title from some other CD though can't promise that it won't be NIN.) This is Draco's point of view. If anything confuses you either ask the question in a review or e-mail me.

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He is really starting to frustrate me. How many times can he look at me and then guiltily look away? In most probability… for a long time to come. Well, we'll have to change that better sooner than later. He's driving me mad.

Though it was priceless to have seen such a pure look of horror on his face. I don't think that any of my pranks have ever evoked such a reaction from him. I think I should do such things more often they are excellent for entertainment.

Ah, I really should get him off my mind, it's no good at all to think and not act. He's a fool and I'm a fool, what a pair we make.

All right time for action can't exactly help that those tow brutes follow me everywhere. He looks delicious as always, why can't he notice it. Or maybe because he doesn't notice it he's so very irresistible. Gah, there I go again. I really need to sort things out.

"Potter," no use being courteous.

He looks at me like I was some vile thing and does not answer.

"Too good to talk to me, is that it?" can't help getting angry at the prat. He can't ignore **me!**

"No, Malfoy, the world does revolve around you, you must have realized that. Unless you're more stupid then everyone thinks." The few Gryffindors in the vicinity to hear this burst out laughing.

Scowling at them, I pick up my hurt pride, "Not at all Potter, as far as I can see. But I do know how hard it is for _you to see."_

He genuinely laughs at this, "My sight does not stop me from catching the snitch first."

Oh, bother, I don't think I can win this. Can't he be alone some of the time, I can't exactly talk to him with all the Gryffindor "friends" surrounding him like a pack of wolves.

"Don't boast, Potter, until you catch it you never know how your luck may turn," wishing to be the last to speak a turn about on my heel and stalk out. This isn't going the way I planned at all; will anything ever go my way? Probably never.

Crabbe and Goyle look at me strangely but their skulls are too thick to ever understand anything I say, that doesn't involve food.

All right I'll have to improvise.

***

Sitting in a closet full of supplies is not my idea of fun but what can I do. Harry sure takes his time when it comes to being on time, small wonder that he still has friends, must be his infallible charm. Ha, there's a thought.

Peeking out cautiously I finally spot the familiar head of that messy hair. Well, _he's late to his Quidditch practice._

As he passes my hiding place, oblivious as ever, I snake out a hand and firmly gripping him by the shoulder yank him into the closet with me. Before I close the door and darkness engulfs us I notice the terrified expression on his face.

"First time you've been dragged into a closet?" I raise an eyebrow, quite futile, but comforting.

A small gasp comes from his general direction, "Malfoy, what on earth?"

"Oh, nothing really. We need to talk and it better be now. No time to protest," lighting up the tip of my wand I look at Harry's face. He looks very distrustful. For a good reason but still. He's really bad at hiding his feelings, maybe that's a plus for me.

"Talk? Again? There's nothing tot talk about," he looks absolutely positive of this. This might be harder to talk about than I thought.

"Last time, as I recall, you talked. This time it's **my turn and don't you interrupt," I feel lighter, I can finally talk some sense into him… maybe.**

"Fine," with that he leans against the wall and folds his arms.

Trying not to look his way I proceed, "Well, you see, ah, how can I word this… you see it's like this," I lean in quickly press my lips against Harry's. Just as quickly I pull away and watch his reaction. None come; he stands there like statue, comical, really.

He doesn't speak as I advised, "I hope you do see. You have been avoiding me and I don't like it. No, don't say anything in defense because this is my time to speak. You… you open those innocent eyes of yours wide and you're willing as any. Suddenly you're cold and run away. How many times, I ask how many can you do that? It isn't humane. All right I know that I deserve what I get but still I'm not an animal. Though I'm sure you'd treat them better than me. Pity, you really haven't learned what I can do and what I think, you don't bother with me. The exchange of insults and tantalizing me with your charms is the extent of our "relationship". You are quite a liar, Harry… my beautiful liar."

He still stand there as a statue, blinking slowly.

Taking a deep breath I speak, "Well?"

"Well, what, what do you want me to say? Sorry, I won't do it again?" his face contorts in rage. "Well, I won't. You can't make that one up. And…and never kiss me again."

This hurts me as anything else; I'm not that bad of a kisser. Am I? I haven't bothered to ask anyone before. Serious measures should be applied here. This is going beyond my reach, and I can't have that.

I put out my wand and put it into a pocket of my robes. Carefully sliding my arms around his neck I pull us closer together. Feeling the fast beating of Harry's heart I can easily see where the anger is coming from. This is interesting… _very interesting._

Grinding slowly against his body I revel in his moans and gasps. Too bad I can't see his face but there might be time enough for that later.

Proving my point I let go and there is a soft whimper.

"So, I should never kiss you again. But can I do _that again?" I trail a hand over his face but he doesn't pull away._

"Stop it Malfoy," barely a whisper.

I laugh, contemptuously, "Are you sure you want me to stop, do you have anything better to do?"

"Y-Yes… I have Quidditch practice, I'm missing it already," his voice is halting and unsure. Perfect opportunity.

"Ah, but you have missed it already. And you don't wish to miss _this," I rest my hand on his chest and it slowly creeps lower. His heart feels like it's going to jump out of his chest. As it edges closer to his groin he suddenly gets his voice back again._

"No, Malfoy, I want you to… stop," this time he sounds more sure but damned I'll be if I give this opportunity up.

I ignore the plea and brush lightly against his crotch. There is a sound of rustling clothes and then Harry's hand is grasping my own, very tightly.

"I said stop," he hisses.

"But you were enjoying it," I wrench my hand out of his grasp.

"No, I wasn't. And now if you'll excuse me I have to leave," quick as lightning he's out of the door.

I sigh in exasperation; this is getting old, **very quickly.**

Fine, if he's so set on denying it I'll wait. I'll wait until it kills me… or _he kills me. The chances are higher that it'll be because of him that I'll perish. Not a happy thought._

To Be Continued…

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**Next Installment: What is Harry planning? Will Draco ever give up? Is Harry playing hard to get or is he that clueless? Will I ever finish this thing? The answer to that is yes. :) The next chapter will probably be the last one; I don't wish to bore anyone further. The tentative date for the release is ****September 13th. It will be Harry's point of view**

**A/N:** So, so sorry for such a long delay, but look on the bright side, I actually finished it. Doubly sorry for the short chapter, the next one will be longer. School, new computer, lack of ideas, and the very tantalizing "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone" DVD lying right under my nose were the cause of such a long delay. And of course thank you so much for such lovely reviews I couldn't live without them, honest.


	9. 9 I need someone to hold on to

**Title:** **Always **

**Chapter:** **#9 – I need someone to hold on to…**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, dark content, rape, non-concentual sex, coerced sex, violence, some language, and questionable behavior, but I like it that way. :) It WAS supposed to be NC-17, but shh, don't tell anyone ;).

**Summary:** Draco can't sleep so he decides to wander. To his surprise he finds Harry at the Astronomy Tower. A fight ensues and the consequences bring out strange emotions.

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The twisted storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this?

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if RAPE and NON-CONCENTUAL SEX between the same genders make you faint, then DO NOT READ. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship); the R rating is for a reason. 

**Notes:** The chapter title comes from NIN "Pretty Hate Machine" CD; the song is titled "Terrible Lie". (I promise the next chapter will derive its title from some other CD though can't promise that it won't be NIN.) FF.net is getting on my nerves SO to solve the problem I've decided to make a website for my writing, yay. And no one can tell me what my fics should contain and shouldn't contain, feels good to be free. Also the potion mentioned is completely made up by me, I'm sure that no such thing will be mentioned in the HP books. This is Harry's point of view.

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Why can't I get the image of Malfoy leering at me in that dark closet, all that shadow and light play has confused my brain permanently?

And why does Snape keep glaring at me, like he's waiting for me to blow up something. At the rate I'm going this thing that's supposed to be looking like a potion just might blow up.

Hermione elbows me in the ribs as I almost overturn my cauldron onto myself by leaning on its rim. The prospect of getting a shrinking potion onto myself isn't so bad at least I'd be too small to be bothered with. Well, yes then there'd be one less Gryffindor for Snape to bother with and who wants to relieve that slimy git.

"Mr. Potter," argh that tone of voice makes me want to punch something, anything," I was not aware that the potion was supposed to be _green."_

"It's isn't, _Professor, but it is all the same," oh fuck, I shouldn't have said that. Snape looks like he's the one who's going to explode. I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. It gets me into trouble almost as much as I myself do._

"Detention, Potter, and ten points from Gryffindor. You shall learn respect as well as learn the correct way to brew this particular potion. I'll net let you out until it's perfect. I'll make sure that it's perfect unless you would like me to test it on you." He is positively fuming. Instinctively looking over to Draco's seat I notice him smirking and suddenly I feel even angrier, if that could be possible.

"Be sure to meet me here precisely at eight, I will not tolerate lateness." with a final withering glare he twirls around and is off to torment someone else. My sickly green potion starts bubbling unpleasantly and Hermione glancing sympathetically at me motions for me to extinguish the fire.

Ah, potion be damned. Malfoy will have me crawling around like a maggot soon. Why can't I get him out of my head? He could have bewitched me, no that idea is preposterous. But so is the idea that I'm actually feeling something other than pure animosity. Why does he have to be such a good actor? Maybe he isn't acting at all!!!

At that though I jerk back to reality and in the process spill the sickening contents of my cauldron. Hoping against hope that I didn't concoct anything lethal I find it very amusing that moss and other greenery springs up on my table and the floor. Ron actually starts snickering behind his hand; I'm very tempted to join him when Snape's shadow falls on me.

"What is the meaning of this, Potter?" he does not look too angry but his voice is icy. I feel like crawling under my desk as the Slytherins burst out laughing at my inadequate potion.

"Maybe it's a good thing I did not make you drink it. Ten more points off Gryffindor. You really should take some lessons from Longbottom at least he managed to keep _his atrocity __in the cauldron." Stretching his thin lips in a grimace that is supposed to be a smile he rips a small shrub off my table. "You are responsible for cleaning up this mess, stay after class, and I don't want to see one __leaf left after you're done."_

Ron and Hermione look downright sad as they leave me to my work, Ron even mouths an "I'll see you later."

Sighing audibly I start with the table and work my way down throwing the shrubbery and grass into a bucket that seemed to have no bottom, no matter how much grass and dirt I threw into it there was always space for more. This work reminds me too much of the many times I was forced to prune the garden at Privet Drive.

My back aching and my hands soar from all the work I finally make my way out of the damp dungeons, only to remember that I have to go back there for my detention. Today's not my day.

***

"Harry, the potion isn't that hard to make. Remember, just concentrate on what you're doing and you should do all right." Hermione's pep talk does not make me feel any better. I just smile weakly at her.

"I'm sure that Snape won't make you drink it. He's not _that bad," Ron tries to give me a cheerful smile but it wavers a bit._

"Don't worry guys, even if he does make me drink the results won't be something Madame Pomfrey can't fix." Hopefully. Yeah, here I go. "I better go now while I'm still not late."

"Yes, Harry, just concentrate," Hermione waves reassuringly as I step out of the common room.

The trip to the dungeons is even mote unpleasant then when Ron and Hermione are by my side. How can the Slytherins sleep down here, I'd come down with a cough my first day.

Cautiously I knock on the slightly ajar door a low "Come in" answers me.

Snape is sitting behind his desk and there's a distinct smile of delight, very uncharacteristic, on his face. "Glad to see you here, Mr. Potter." While his face speaks something completely different.

Motioning towards the table right opposite his desk he says, "You'll find all you need on this table, now get to work. And I hope to see it done better than your previous _attempt."_

Working with Snape glowering at me all the time's even worse than when there are other's to take away his attention. I almost spill everything again but save it just in time catching his attention and getting a vicious frown. I'm very relieved to see that this time it's the right color. I think Hermione's right, when you actually concentrate on making the potion it turns out all right, at least better then when Malfoy's on my mind. Argh, there I go thinking of _him again. That never brought me any good and I'm almost done with the potion, just one more minute of simmering and then I'm free._

With difficulty I battle off the images of Malfoy and finally Snape is testing the potion. With surprise he finds out that it actually works. Very reluctantly he says, "Better than last time but you still need to work on it."

That isn't as bad as could've been, "Can I go now?"

"Yes, you may. But next time I won't let you off this easy." With another scowl he sits back down at his desk.

Very relieved I race out of the room but once in the hall skid to a stop as I spot Malfoy. What he doing here? Ha, what a silly question, his dormitory is down here. But what is he doing out so late? Now that's a good question. Time to find out.

Carefully making my way after him I see that he's in no hurry but knows where he's going. As silently as I can I move a little closer, would do no good to loose sight of him now. Stopping in front of a portrait he calls out the password "Quidditch Cup", presumably for his dormitory. The portrait swings open to let him in and then swings shut.

After a minute or so I walk up to it. I notice that the occupant of the painting is looking at me strangely but once I say the password it opens without a word. Malfoy isn't on the common room and to my luck neither is anybody else.

Taking a quick look around I notice that their common room looks about the same as ours except for the different colors. There is a staircase down, how dreary. Stepping lightly I follow it down.

Coming to a fork I decide to go to the right as it turns out that the girl's dormitories. Backtracking I turn left this time and I am rewarded by a sign that says 5th years. Slowly opening the door, very relieved that it doesn't creak, I peak in. There are four beds just as in out dormitories. And seems that everyone's asleep or at least not walking about.

Tentatively I walk in, treading on the green carpet, and carefully close the door. The click sounds too loud and I'm afraid that I woke someone up but it's only a snore.

On tiptoes I walk up to the nearest bed and pear at the name on the trunk, "Gregory Goyle", nope, not who I was looking for at all. After checking all of them I find that Malfoy's bed is all the way in the corner. Figures that it'd be the last one I check.

Parting the curtains I look in. Malfoy seems to be sleeping soundly. Hmm, didn't take him much time to fall asleep. Reaching in I brush away a few stray hairs before I know what's happened Malfoy had me around the wrist and with a yank I tumble onto the bed.

Quite efficiently he mutters few spells including a silencing charm and _Lumos. I'm still a little shaken not to mention shocked to find myself on top of __Malfoy!_

As I keep staring he smirks, "Glad you could drop in, Harry, I was wondering when Snape would let you go."

Quite suddenly I realize that I've been following Malfoy and now I'm in his bedroom, on his bed and on his lap! How could I have been so foolish? I think the git has planned this all along. Even saying the password loudly enough for me to hear. Oh, now I'm in trouble. But first I need to get off his lap.

Hurriedly I back away to edge of the bed, crawling awkwardly. Malfoy's smile is growing ever wider. "What? I don't bite."

"I don't trust you, Malfoy, any farther than I can throw you." This was such a bad idea from the start. I have to get out of here. Inconspicuously I edge to the side, hoping that Malfoy doesn't notice in the weak wand light.

"Well, you won't know until you try." The lilt to his voice made it a completely lewd comment and I blush furiously. Hoping yet again but this time that Malfoy doesn't notice. Nothing like a little humiliation to add to his insult vault. I slide a little more to the right.

"What, Harry? Cat got your tongue?" noticing my escape route he slides closer and leans in, his breath caressing my cheek. I'm frozen to the spot and the insistent little voice inside my head that tells me to run for my life before things get beyond my reason is more than slightly squashed.

"No, not at all. But I really have to go now." I squeak the last word as I suddenly feel Malfoy's hand on my crotch. He never gives up, does he? He has a one track mind. Quickly I push the offending hand away. "Don't get too comfortable with me, Malfoy, I'm leaving." To punctuate the point I start to get off the bed.

"So, my speech had no effect on you?" I'm quite surprised that he does not try to stop me and I pause with one foot already on the floor, the curtains parted.

"Probably not the effect you wanted it to have. Why should _I feel guilty when it's you who's in the wrong? You should have never started this." Actually I think has speech made me feel **very guilty, damn his eloquence.**_

"So, leave already. All you do is talk and tease anyway!" with a huff he settles back onto his pillows, hair falling over his eyes very fetchingly.

Now this has gotten to me, how dare he call _me a tease! "I don't tease and I wouldn't be here in the first place if it wasn't for your head games."_

"Excuse me, my head games, you came here yourself nobody invited you." He does look good, doesn't he? Argh, have to snap out of that state of mind.

"Yes, your head games of power. That's what you want isn't it?" I hiss.

He looks taken aback but recovers quickly. "It doesn't matter what I want I won't get it anyway."

"Well, you're probably not going about it the right way." This is actually keeping me here, what a fool I really am. Bravery go to hell.

The look in his eyes is predatory, extinguishing the light with a muttered word, and the look is gone, and everything is thrown into shadows. Confused by the sudden darkness I'm surprised by Malfoy's sudden attack upon me.

Just like all the other numerous attacks he tries to smother me with his lips. Pushing him away forcefully I gasp for breath. Before I can regain my bearings sufficiently he's at it again this time adding his hands to the mix. He breaks away every once in a while to catch a great big mouthful of air and then clamps his mouth over my own. This is getting old.

Either because of the great hurry he seems to be in or of his own inadequacy he fumbles continuously with his own clothes. As he keep rubbing up against me I find my body betraying me. How dare it betray me?! 

Sensing a change in me Malfoy slows his pace and sensuously nuzzles my neck. How can I let it go so far? It's getting out of hand! I really should've left when I threatened to. My own curiosity will be my downfall. But is it really _that bad? Now, no more thoughts of that nature, I hate this, right? Right!?!_

While my thoughts run around in mad race my body knows what it wants. Wrapping my arms around the insufferable, but at the moment tolerable, blonde, I press closer to the delicious heat his body gives off. The friction is addictive and my hands roam freely eliciting small gasps and groans from Malfoy. But he's not the only one contributing to the symphony of sound.

Finally on the brink of pleasure I reach my climax. Hanging on limply to Malfoy as he thrusts a few more times and then too relaxes, I will my heart to slow down before it bursts.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable with the quickly cooling stickiness in my pants I move away from the immobile body next to me. Somewhere in our "going ons" we got horribly tangled in the blankets and I find a pillow under my foot.

Malfoy breaks the silence, still sounding breathless, "Well, that was certainly different."

"You can say that again." Lifting my head slightly I catch sight of Malfoy's hair. It's sticking up everywhere but he still manages to look fetching. I can't help but burst out laughing.

With a wicked smile Malfoy points out my own disheveled state and we share out mirth. Muttering some other spell that he seems to know many of and I feel much cleaner.

"Thanks, I needed that. But now it's time for me to go. My friends will probably think Snape fed me the potion and is torturing me horribly." Smoothing my hair to no avail and sit up.

"He does seem the type, doesn't he? But, no, stay for the night. I need the company. I need someone to hold on to." Grabbing my wrist he pulls me back down alongside his own body, wrapping an arm around my waist.

I open my mouth to give an excuse but he just shushes me. "Don't worry; I won't do anything you wouldn't want me to do."

I study him skeptically, "But in the current position I'm not sure what I want."

"All the better for me." The hint is overly implied and some anger returns.

"Sod off, Malfoy." I cross my arms over my chest, awkwardly but still, and try to look menacing. Doesn't work out.

"This is a start of a beautiful relationship." Malfoy states, stretching his arms above his head and shoving me in the ribs.

I nudge him right back, smiling inwardly. This actually turned out better than I expected. What a day. "Can we still be enemies?" a stupid question, I know, but one that I need an answer to if I'm to stay sane.

"Always." Comes his reply.

Always, hmm, good enough for me.

The End.

--------------------------------

**A/N:** Credit has to be given to the line "This is the start of a beautiful relationship," which is from "Casablanca". :) The long chapter is to make up for the very long break I've had. Sorry that it took me so long to spit this one out, it's not even proof read yet (which I will do soon), school drains me, stupid me had to take two extra English classes. Like the advanced literature class wasn't enough. If I fail any of those classes it'll be no one else's but my own fault. Now enough of the rant. :) 

Comments, your own rants? Should I even bother with a sequel? Was the romance just too much? Was the **very vague sexual description just plain frustrating? FF.net exasperates me, how could you possible get rid of all the NC-17 fics!!! :( But if they don't catch on too quickly I'll be able to post more with the R rating. Kenna Hijja: Thank you for such a comment, hmm, I'll have to work on the punctuation, I don't exactly notice it when I'm typing away.**


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